The Next Fix

Recently (relatively speaking) I joined the likes of director Patrick Lussier and Friday the 13th creator Victor Miller in "vlurbing" J.C. Hutchins' reality-bending novel Personal Effects: Dark Art (dropping in less than two weeks).

When Hutch introduced the first of these sickhouse promo beauties, I thought it was a revolutionary concept/execution in book marketing. And when you add the company I'm in, I was honored to be asked to pimp on the small screen.



Having just returned from Balticon where I interviewed Hutch live in front of a couple hundred rabid fans and actually got to see and feel this book, I can't second Vlurb Matt's words strongly enough. This is an utterly killer read, and so much more if you want it to be. I urge you to delve deeper into the world and the alternate reality experience Hutch has created with this thing.

Share this clip like we're reliving the glory days of Lars Ulrich-raping Napster, kids. And I command you to pre-order the book today.

The 2009 Parsec Awards loom not-too-distantly, and if you don't believe me just take a listen to Scott Sigler and J.C. Hutchins' traditional Parsec Awards promo (in which I receive one of the greatest name drops of all time).

I've been asked several increasingly-annoying times if I'm bitter about last year's awards. "Matt, do you really think Scott Sigler deserved to be nominated three times in the same category?" For the record, I think Scott Sigler deserved a gold-plated handjob machine for what he did for me and every other author in our medium(s) last year. Which is a nice way of saying no and I will have my vengeance.

To that end, I've compiled a brief list of all my eligible works of podfic from the last year. Check 'em and rec 'em, kids. I'll see you in Atlanta. Not really, as I piss on Dragon*Con, but I'll be there in spirit. And proxy.

Oh, yes. Fear my proxy.

The End of Flesh Variant Frequencies -- Best Speculative Fiction Story (Novella Form)

"Pallas & Stan" Stories of the Third Wave -- Best Speculative Fiction Story (Short Form)

"Receiver" 7th Son: OBSIDIAN -- Best Speculative Fiction Story (Short Form)

And don't forget to nominate Variant Frequencies for Best Speculative Fiction Magazine or Anthology Podcast and Stranger Things for Best Speculative Fiction Video Podcast.

You still have a week (or two. Possibly. Do your own research). Go forth and make your voice heard.

Go ahead; I defy you to tell me your eyes aren't oppositely hard and wet as they gaze upon the graphic masterpiece to my immediate right. I dare you to raise an argument as I proclaim that bit of visual coitus the ocular quickie of the century.

I dare you.

You're looking at the cover of the latest issue of Murky Depths. You can't tell from the adjoining image, but that artwork actually wraps around both the front and back cover of the 'zine itself. It's a genre-crossing mosaic that I fell in love with as soon as I opened up my contributor's copies. In what is coming up on three years of *the* tastiest covers in both literary and illustrated magazines, this is my undisputed favorite. It ranks right beside Vinny Chong's orgasmic and award-nominated steampunk-inspired cover from several issues back.

And as if that weren't enough, my name is on it. A blow-up is SO going on my office wall.

My new DEPTH CHARGE column rounds out this issue. It's entitled "The Replacement Storytellers" and focuses on the gadgetry housing our stories today, and the descendants of said gadgetry that might be telling our stories tomorrow.

Witness a brief excerpt . . .

We are all becoming the Three Little Pigs of this even newer digital age. We’ve ditched the sticks and straw for much rawer building blocks, for ions and lithium and silicon and savage steel. Our refining techniques, however, make nursery rhyme magicks look like a Taiwanese hooker’s ping pong ball trick. We architect microcosmic wonders so sleek and deft in design that they become mundane as quickly as we can snap them to our belts or sheath them in a silicone skin holster.

I was in the zone, kids.

On a related note, I'm currently looking to fatten my freelance portfolio. So if you are a magazine editor, or have the ear/genitals of a magazine editor, there is no subject, genre, or cultural niche I cannot dissect and reassemble into pure distilled word fetishism.

Seriously. I write words good. Pass it on.

It's not every day you collaborate with a New York Times Best-Selling author. Even if it is Scott Sigler.

Just in time to shamelessly whore Sigler's limited (3,000 copy) release of THE ROOKIE in first edition hardcover, it's TITLE FIGHT by Scott Sigler and Matt Wallace. Set thousands of years in the future of THE ROOKIE, this exclusive podcast-only novella combines no-holds-barred MMA (mixed martial arts) with aliens, gangsters, and space drama. It's the story of two technologically souped-up futuristic alien gladiators on a collision course with history. Sigler is writing from the perspective of Korak the Cutter, legendary Quyth warrior entering the twilight of his own blood-soaked legend. I'll be going head-to-head with him from the perspective of "The Heretic" Chaiyal North, the newly-crowned 6'9", 400 pound Galactic Fighting Alliance champion and the most feared Human fighter to ever step into an interspecies ring.

Just like our characters, we're going to keep trading off, back and forth, round for round, until this epic saga of violence and glory is complete. And you have the chance to sit ringside *FOR FREE*, kids. Watching me and Scott Sigler in a literary smackdown to the death is a blood-pumping proposition if I've ever heard one.

You can catch Round #1 on Sigler's Bloodcast AND on Variant Frequencies right now, live. And don't forget to pre-order THE ROOKIE by Scott Sigler in limited first edition hardcover beginning TOMORROW exclusively on ScottSigler.com

Look for Round #2 of TITLE FIGHT, written by me, next week. But for now, Korak the Cutter is sixty seconds away from death. Whose? I suggest you go find out.

Unedited, uncensored, unadulterated, it's the latest promo for THE NEXT FIX by Matt Wallace for your Kindle reader and Kindle for your iPhone/iPod Touch featuring New York Times Best-Selling author of INFECTED and failed pimp, Scott Sigler.



This is why I created THE NEXT FIX; to cause all those uppity best-selling author fucks to O.D. and die a slow, convulsing death.

One down, hundreds upon hundreds to go.

I am somewhat late in posting this to my blog and blog mirrors, but if you're subscribed to my KILL (the) FEED podcast and perving my weekly video addresses you didn't miss anything, did you?

Take the hint.

Already an internet legend before it even hit YouTube, the infamous MAN WHORE promo for The Next Fix for your Kindle reader and Kindle for your iPhone/iPod Touch featuring author, podcasting pioneer, and all around geek sex pot Mur Lafferty and comedy music superstar DevoSpice . . .



You can immerse yourself in all things Mur Lafferty on the Murverse. And if you haven't, check out DevoSpice to learn what fans of the Dr. Demento show have been digging for the last couple of years. Also, DevoSpice hosts the gut-bustingly funny Manic Mondays podcast. It is no less than your drivetime work week starting donkey punch.

Tune in to KILL (the) FEED 2.0 this Sunday for my new Weekly Video Address and the premiere of the latest Next-Fix-for-Kindle promo featuring New York Times best-selling author and failed pimp, Scott Sigler.

As I posted a little while ago, my short story collection THE NEXT FIX has been ported to Amazon's Kindle reader (and is currently ranked #16,153 in their Kindle Store, up from #39,000 and some change a few hours ago and #way-the-fuck-in-the-hundred-thousands a few hours before that) and is also available for Kindle on your iPhone and your iPod Touches, etc.. It's my first Kindle release and your first opportunity to fill your assorted fancy, expensive gadgets with *this* level of awesome.

To make sure everyone who has dropped the coin on a Kindle/iPhone/iPod knows they can now carry their next fix WHEREVER they go, myself and the good folks at Hurdy Gur, Inc. are producing a series of video promos featuring some of the most talented and trustworthy names in fiction, media, and general geekism. And there are NONE more talented or more trustworthy than Mr. "Hey, Everybody!" himself, creator of 7th SON and author of PERSONAL EFFECTS: DARK ART, J.C. Hutchins.



Here's the thing. You want to be like Hutch. Hutch is the single finest Human being of his generation. He is destined to hit the best-seller lists *twice* in the next year with his techno and psycholigical thrillers. He is one helluva dancer, he regularly lectures on economics at Wharton, and on weekends he teaches kung fu to paraplegics. He's a pimp among circa-1988 Ice T's. And *he* carries his Next Fix wherever he goes.

You should, too. And for four bucks, how can you afford NOT to? Get it here.

You should also help the aforementioned gadget-inclined consumers by spreading the above debut vid promo. Embed it in your own blog and/or social media page, tweet about it, podcast it. Tell your waiter about it tonight at Bennigan's. However you can advance the cause. And feel free to let me know about it so I can thank you properly.

Remember: You are Legion.

In conjunction with the hive mind at Hurdy Gur, Inc. it is my sick, twisted, sadistic pleasure to present to you...

KILL (the) FEED 2.0

It's the Mk. 2 version of the first Matt Wallace exclusive podcast, now provided by Feedburner. We've made the jump to the host of champions, and the feed, its content, and our subscribers are all currently reaping the benefits. With a scythe made of digital bliss.

If you're currently subscribed to the original feed, you must resubscribe to the new Feedburner stream to keep receiving our weekly video podcast as well as the audio fiction and other cool new shit we've got slow-brewing in the lab. And if you haven't yet subscribed to KILL (the) FEED then you've waited for us to install leather bucket seats in the Cadillac before purchasing it at cost. And aren't you the wise consumer.

The first update to the new feed is my fourth weekly video address, which is live on Matt-Wallace.com in addition to having just dropped on KILL (the) FEED. It's the first WVA recorded on-location, and I'm coming at you live-on-tape from Durham, North Carolina with some *very* special guests. I think it's the best ep we've yet assembled, and I hope you will too.

You have your marching orders. Go forth, subscribe, consume, report back. And remember you are legion.

Unconventional Uses for Bedpans #445: Catching your brain when it's blown out of your ass upon viewing the following.

Author and neo-visionary J.C. Hutchins has quite literally redefined the way novels are promoted in any and every visual medium with his new trailer for PERSONAL EFFECTS: DARK ART (pre-order now from Amazon -- available in bookstores everywhere June, 2009). And that is not hype. It's more like a sudden and divine moment of clarity that overcame me as I watched this for the first time. What Star Wars was to moviemaking, what music videos were to TV commercials, this promo should rightfully be to the marketing of books.

No horseshit, Jack.


The truly and eternally fucked part is if I'd actually gotten around to recording one of those video blurbs (an original and killer concept in and of themselves), there's a slim chance I could've been a part of the historic piece of eyefuck above. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself.

I cannot encourage you strongly enough to blog, tweet, and podcast this thing far and wide, kids. Embed it everywhere you can. It's worthy.

Where has my blog been for the last couple of weeks?

In 3-D, bitches.

That's right, I've gone direct-to-video, just like Treat Williams in the The Substitute sequels. Or Sasha Mitchell in the Kickboxer sequels. Or Daniel Bernhardt in the Bloodsport sequels (I won't lie, I had to iMDB that last one). The first episode of my weekly video address went live on KILL (the) FEED, the new Matt-Wallace.com-exclusive podcast/news feed, two weeks ago. The second episode is available now, and chocked full-o-premium-content. The video editing by my intrepid webmaster, alias The Helljack, is absolutely killer. I never wanted to narrate my own fiction in audio podcasts, now I'm trying to be Lenny fucking Bruce. Life is a fluid concept.



The second ep is twice as long and the segments are far more elaborately and sophisticatedly scripted. Not to mention my t-shirts got WAY more awesome. Subscribe to KILL (the) FEED today and get caught up on all the essayin', asshole-tearin', minutiae-siftin', video-bloggin' action. It's only going to get better and better. Or its gradual downfall will lead to a SPECTACULAR explosion of bottoming-out. Either way, you won't want to miss it.

PLUS there is a lot more podcast content coming, including free original fiction from your humble narrator.

Also at the top of this news hour, THE NEXT FIX is now available for your Kindle reader and Kindle for your iPhone. The Kindle, if you're unaware, is Amazon's new wireless reading device. The Kindle 2 just dropped, and I look on THE NEXT FIX as its launch title. Like Zelda for the Wii. Because I am a craven egomaniac. But this is a big deal to me for several reasons. 1) My first Kindle release. 2) NEW revenue stream (I owe people). 3) The Kindle market is still tapped enough at this point that I believe good fiction can shine in this format.

Purchase. Download. Consume. And *please* be sure to write your review on Amazon.

I've got an exciting, extra-special promotional project cooking for this one, the details of which are currently in the top post over on Matt-Wallace.com for your perusal. I'm going to be dropping a VIDEO PROMO, like a thirty-second TV spot, for THE NEXT FIX on Kindle, and I want YOU to star in it. Yes, you. So hit up the website, check out the details/criteria, and then shoot me an e-mail for your chance to get in on it.

In the meantime, if you currently own a Kindle reader OR have Kindle for your iPhone I can't urge you strongly enough to get your digital gadgetry addicted to THE NEXT FIX and carry me next to your naughty bits everywhere you go.

Trust me. I'll make it worth your while.